Big V Energy & Quiet Growth

Recently at work, I’ve been called “sir” more times in the past two days than I have in the last six months. New year, new masc energy?

I was joking with my coworkers that I don’t think I’ve done anything differently, other than allegedly looking like my coworker Brian, who is… a totally different kind of Asian than me. Honestly, I don’t know who should be more offended. Me or Brian. 😂

I joked to my boss that maybe I’m just exuding a lot of big D energy lately. To which my boss, a gay man, immediately replied, “That’s why I’m so attracted to you.”

Honestly. Iconic.

No one ever says, “For my New Year’s resolution, I’m going to be less active, gain 30 pounds, and really commit to being cruel and insensitive.”

Probably because we already spent most of the year perfecting being tired, busy, overstimulated, and occasionally unfeeling jerks. Uncomfortable, but not inaccurate.

I’d like to think that, in my own small existence, I try to be a better person every day of every year. I don’t need resolutions to be unhealthy or mean. That happens effortlessly. Being kinder, healthier, more present, more loving, more intentional, more courageous? That actually takes effort. It takes work.

So maybe we stop waiting for January 1 to be better humans. If we want to be happier, healthier, more connected, more mindful, more grateful, more useful in the world, the best time to start is always right now. At this very moment. Let’s at least try to be more kind. More soft. More gentle.

This last year has been about letting go of old versions of myself and paying closer attention to who I am now. Not in a dramatic rebirth way. More like a quiet recalibration.

For the record, I’m doing well. I’ve been back in Rochester for over a year now, living a familiar life with a very different mindset. Same place. New lens.

A lot of this year has been spent rethinking what it actually means to be friends. Who shows up. When they show up. And how much it matters when they do. Sometimes we find ourselves in people’s lives exactly when we’re supposed to be there. The real choice is whether we tap into the magic of that serendipity or keep moving through life on autopilot. Whether we risk making the unthinkable real or stick with what’s comfortable and familiar.

I read The Alchemist in my early thirties during a period of deep soul-searching around identity and purpose. What stayed with me wasn’t the romance of the journey, but the reminder that the treasure we’re chasing is often where we started. The quest matters, but it begins with us and ends with us.

Along the way, we meet different people. Different characters. Eventually you realize they’re all mirrors. Different versions of ourselves, showing up to help us understand who we are and what we actually want from this one strange, ordinary, beautiful life we get to live.

Life is weird. Growth is quieter than we expect. And sometimes coming full circle is the whole point.

Every day is a new day to do better.

New year. Same you.

Cheers. 🍻❤️