In Memory of Asal Khanghahi (1.16.1975 - 5.19.2011) Written May 19, 2012 | By Vangie Castro Deloras Park, San Francisco. SF Pride Weekend 2006 “Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind.”-- Dr. Seuss A year ago, I received a phone call late at night from a friend in the Bay Area. She said, "are you sitting down?" I told her, "it's late here; I'm laying down." "Asal is no longer with us," Emme said in a somber a

Remember that scene from "Sleepless in Seattle," when Meg Ryan’s character, Annie, tells Walter she’s developed feelings for Sam Baldwin, even though they’ve never met? She basically falls in love with the idea of him after hearing him speak for a few minutes on a talk radio show about his late wife. And I’ve always been like… wait, what? Because she just spent Valentine’s weekend with Walter picking out china at Tiffany’s. They’re engaged. This man is committed, present, and

“The next day the large crowd that had come to the festival heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, shouting, ‘Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord, the King of Israel!’” —John 12:12–13 (NRSV) Palm Sunday. The beginning of the end. The moment when people welcomed Jesus as a savior. Waving palms. Shouting “Hosanna,” which literally means, "Save us." And within days? Those same voices were

“God always offers us a second chance in life.” — Paulo Coelho A while back, I was on the phone with my friend Kimi, and she said something that made me laugh. Kimi: Yeah, it’s funny. I either really liked your exes or I couldn’t stand them. Me: That tracks. Kimi: Remember that one we had lunch with at Santana Row? The one from the East Coast? I liked her. Me: Melissa? Kimi: Yeah, that’s her. Me: She was a pathological liar. Kimi: Oh. Well, I remember she was really nice. Me:

“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.” — The Fellowship of the Ring, JRR Tolkien I’ve been around the block a few times. In dating. In life. In trying to figure out who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing here.

Back during COVID, I did what a lot of us did... spent a lot of time navel-gazing and cooking. One of the things I wanted to get back to was cooking the food I grew up eating. Growing up, we sat at the table every night and had dinner together. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I remember the feeling. The routine. The intentional time together as a family. It meant something. And it’s one of the things I miss most from my childhood. So I started cooking traditional F

“Check yourself. Sometimes you are the toxic person. Sometimes you are the mean, negative person you’re looking to push away. Sometimes the problem is you. And that doesn’t make you less worthy. Keep on growing. Keep on checking yourself. Keep on motivating yourself. Mistakes are opportunities. Look at them, own them, grow from them and move on. Do better, be better. You’re human. It’s okay.” — Unknown I am a good person. There are, of course, groups or people who would say o

How uncomfortable do you have to become before you finally realize something needs to change? Over five years ago, I was a complete and utter mess. Not in the casual, “life is hard” kind of way. I mean a fog of grief, sadness, hopelessness, and depression that sat heavy in my chest every single day. It wasn’t just one thing. It was five different tragedies colliding at the same time. One major loss is already enough to bring you to your knees, but when they come one after ano

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'" — The Velveteen Rabbit When I was a child, all I ever wanted to be was happy. I think that’s because, even then, I knew I was different. A little shy. A little weird. A little strange. And, if I’m being honest, a little alone. I grew up in a busy house. The youngest of four kid

I’ve been missing my friend Kimi Serrano in California. We talk on the phone as often as we can because she’s one of the few people who refuses to go back and forth on text. And honestly, I respect that. Some conversations deserve voice. Tone. Presence. We’ve known each other for over 25 years. That means she’s seen every version of me, from my mid-20s to now. She knows my flaws, my strengths, my stubbornness, and my growth. And she’s still here. That means something. We’ve