Recently at work, I’ve been called “sir” more times in the past two days than I have in the last six months. New year, new masc energy? I was joking with my coworkers that I don’t think I’ve done anything differently, other than allegedly looking like my coworker Brian, who is… a totally different kind of Asian than me. Honestly, I don’t know who should be more offended. Me or Brian. 😂 I joked to my boss that maybe I’m just exuding a lot of big D energy lately. To which my b

Kimi, Tess, and I circa 2004. Before jumping in a car to race across San Francisco. I was talking to Kimi on the phone the other night, and she was genuinely excited because she ordered a box of string cheese. In bulk. She’s hoping it’s over a hundred pieces. She swears it’s the best mozzarella string cheese she’s ever had, and the pure joy in her voice was unmistakable. I love this for her. There’s something quietly beautiful about that kind of happiness. The kind that comes

I stumbled across an old blog post, I wrote back in 2002. When I was twenty-eight and still trying to figure out what love was supposed to feel like. I didn’t know then that I was already questioning the version of love I had inherited, the one shaped by fear, scarcity, and the old idea that you had to earn affection by giving parts of yourself away. At fifty-one, I see things through a different lens. bell hooks reminded us that “Love is an act of will, both an intention and

"Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop." — Rumi Life is an endless dance between holding on to what matters and releasing what no longer serves. It takes courage to do both, to endure through hardship and to let go when your heart feels heavy. Fall is a very melancholic time of the year for me. Two close friends moved on into the void around this time, and my dad’s death anniversary always brings me back to that space between love and forgiveness. He was a complicated m