Lent 2025 Day 2: Ride Or Die

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother [sister] is born for a time of adversity." – Proverbs 17:17 

Coleen & Vangie at my Undergrad graduation 2009

Friendship isn’t just about the years—it’s about the moments, the memories, and the ways someone shows up for you again and again. When I think about the kind of friend everyone deserves, I think of Coleen Mande. I will never forget the day we became best friends. We were in 4th grade, I was a weird kid, and two stupid boys stole my shoes right off my feet and threw them into the boys’ bathroom. As a kid, the idea of breaking the rules to get them back felt impossible, the binary was strong, I probably cried. But Coleen? She saw what happened and, like a little superhero, recruited another boy to go in and retrieve them for me. Shoes saved, dignity (mostly) restored. That moment set the tone for our friendship. She’s always been someone who steps up, someone who helps, someone who cares. 

We became inseparable, bonded by a shared, slightly twisted sense of humor. We spent summers as kids riding bikes, drinking from garden hoses, and getting into just the right amount of trouble. We stayed close through elementary, middle, and high school, even as our interests started to diverge. She started liking boys, I pretended to like boys. We both played cello in the orchestra, but where she stuck with it, I veered toward sports—rackets, balls, running track. Sometimes, I wish I had kept playing instruments alongside her instead of chasing athletics and competition. There was something special about making music, about the way it connects you to the world and to yourself. 

But through it all, Colleen remained the same—kind, giving, hilarious, with a heart so full of love and generosity. She is the type of person who makes the world better simply by being in it. She was one of the first people I told I was gay, and her response? A simple, 'I know,' followed by the same unwavering friendship. No hesitation, no weirdness—just love. 

Life took us in different directions, but our friendship never faded. Some people come and go, but then there are the rare, beautiful souls who remain—who grow with you, who laugh with you through the decades, who remind you that real friendship doesn’t require daily check-ins, just a steady heart. 

Lent is a time of reflection, and today, I reflect with gratitude. For the friendships that shaped me, the ones that lasted, and the ones that remind me of the best parts of life. Coleen, you are a gift. And I am endlessly grateful for you. 

6th Grade. Did I even own a hairbrush?

8th Grade Valentine's Dance La Vista Middle School