Lent 2026 Day 35: No One Should Sleeplessly Settle

Remember that scene from "Sleepless in Seattle," when Meg Ryan’s character, Annie, tells Walter she’s developed feelings for Sam Baldwin, even though they’ve never met? She basically falls in love with the idea of him after hearing him speak for a few minutes on a talk radio show about his late wife.

And I’ve always been like… wait, what?

Because she just spent Valentine’s weekend with Walter picking out china at Tiffany’s. They’re engaged. This man is committed, present, and very much real. And she breaks it off based on a feeling that some guy on the radio might be her soulmate?

It’s honestly amazing Walter didn’t dump champagne over her head and call her a liar and a w h o r e.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he calmly says to her, “I don’t want to be someone that you’re settling for. I don’t want to be someone that anyone settles for. Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it, isn’t it?”

And Annie’s response? “I don’t deserve you.”

And then she just… leaves. Goes off to chase a feeling. Like, damn.

I’ve always admired Walter for that. You have to be so grounded in yourself to not spiral in that moment. To not beg. To not argue. To not try to convince someone to stay.

That’s a level of self-respect a lot of us are still working toward. Because the truth is, he was right. No one should be settled for. No one should be someone’s placeholder. Not in marriage. Not in relationships. Not ever.

And if I’m being honest, I’ve seen this from both sides. I don’t want to be someone’s “they’re alright for now” person. The in-between warm body. The soft place to land while they figure their shit out. The backup plan and "maybe this will work out," attempt.

I’ve been that. No Thanks!

And I’ve also stayed longer than I should have, trying to make something work that I knew, deep down, wasn’t it. That quiet voice in your head that says, this isn’t right? Yeah. I’ve ignored that one more times than I’d like to admit.

There were times I channeled Walter. And there were times I was messy. Bitter. Let my bruised ego run the show. But eventually, when everything settled, I’d come back to that moment.

“I don’t deserve you.”

And instead of taking that as an insult, I started hearing it as clarity. Not everyone is meant to meet you where you are. Not everyone is capable of choosing you the way you deserve to be chosen. And that’s not something you argue with. That’s something you accept.

Maybe it’s the pragmatist in me, but I still think about Walter sometimes. Did he find someone who actually chose him? Someone who wasn’t comparing him to a fantasy? Someone who saw him clearly and stayed anyway?

I hope so.

Because even though he was a little basic, stable, predictable, and yeah, allergic to everything, he was a good man.

And honestly? The fact that he didn’t create a scene in that fancy restaurant is kind of mind-blowing when you really think about it. No drama. No ego. That’s some next-level emotional regulation right there.

I really hope Walter wasn’t completely traumatized by Annie and that he found someone who actually fit him better. Someone who wasn’t chasing a fantasy or falling in love with a feeling, but who could recognize what was right in front of them.

Because here’s the thing no one really tells you. Love, the kind that actually lasts is kind of… boring.

It’s the in-between stuff.

The everyday stuff.

The choosing each other over and over again when nothing exciting is happening.

And that’s the funny part, isn’t it?

Because the reason Annie fell in love with Sam in the first place… is because he talked about that exact kind of love.

The simple things.

Holding hands.

Being known.

Showing up, day after day.

She heard it. She believed in it. She just couldn’t recognize it when she already had it. And there is absolutely someone out there who wants exactly that. That’s the kind of love I believe in now.

Not the dramatic, cinematic, “run to the Empire State Building” kind. But the kind where two people choose each other fully.

Honestly.

Without hesitation.

Without one foot out the door.

No settling.

Just two people who want to be there.

Together.

Lenten Reflection: The Courage Not to Settle

"Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good." – Romans 12:9 (NRSV)

Walter had it right. Love is already hard enough without lowering the bar. Lent is a season of honesty. A time to examine our expectations, our choices, and how we show up for ourselves and others.

🔹 Where have I accepted less than I deserve, just to avoid being alone?

🔹 Have I treated others as placeholders, rather than people worthy of deep, authentic love?

🔹 What would it look like to love with clarity instead of fantasy?

Today, let us check our hearts, not just for who we love, but how. May we refuse to settle. May we choose with courage. And may we become the kind of people worthy of the love we seek.

Take care of yourselves.

Take care of each other. 🧡

#lentreflection2026 #BeBetter #WalterWasRight #LoveWithoutSettling