Pre-Valentine’s Day Reminder: Do Not Self-Abandon 2026

Before the flowers, the fancy restaurant dinners, and the Instagram declarations of “my person,” let’s talk about something less aesthetic.

Self-abandonment.

People can control themselves. They choose not to. It is insulting to pretend otherwise.

When someone says, “If you hadn’t acted that way, I wouldn’t have reacted like that,” what they’re really saying is, "I am entitled to hurt you when I feel uncomfortable."

Abuse doesn’t start with a punch. It starts with control. With blame shifting. With emotional manipulation that happens in private, while a curated version of love is performed in public.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth. Some of the couples we admire are not okay behind closed doors.

You didn’t “see that side” of them? Of course you didn’t. People who know they’re wrong don’t showcase it. They protect their reputation. They protect their power. They protect the narrative.

Power and privilege normalize abuse. Especially when it comes to men who have been taught that women and girls exist to serve, soothe, validate, and absorb their emotional volatility.

Let’s be clear in 2026, it is not a male loneliness crisis. It is a male emotional laziness crisis.

Loneliness is human. Emotional laziness is a choice.

Too many men were never taught to regulate themselves, to communicate directly, to sit with discomfort, to hear “no” without experiencing it as an ego injury. And too often, women are expected to do that labor for them.

We need to be better. And we need to demand better.

Love is not control.

Love is not intimidation.

Love is not surveillance.

Love is not “prove yourself to me.”

Love absolutely includes respect for a woman’s body autonomy. Always. No negotiation.

And let me say this gently but firmly:

Being single is not a failure.

It is not a waiting room.

It is not a deficiency.

If someone is not coming in correct, not adding peace, not respecting your boundaries, not making your life more grounded instead of more chaotic, why would you hand over your time, energy, body, and peace and pH balance to that?

You don’t owe anyone access to you just because it’s Valentine’s season.

Not everyone is having a happy Valentine’s Day. Some people are surviving relationships that are slowly shrinking them. Some are rebuilding after finally leaving. Some are learning to be alone without abandoning themselves.

Love should feel safe.

Love should feel steady.

Love should feel like expansion, not erosion.

Anyone who truly loves you will not treat you like something disposable once your presence stops serving their ego.

Choose peace. Choose wholeness. Choose yourself.

Flowers are nice.

Safety is better. See less

Repeat after me: I am a fucking awesome person who has dealt with so much shit and I have made it through it all and I am still cute and smart and funny and nice and intellegent and I still kick ass!!