Lent 2025 Day 14: A Prayer for Change & Connection

I used to be engaged to a minister. We were together for seven years before we Consciously Uncoupled. The words we chose were, “We were no longer called to be together.” In some strange way, it felt like the most fitting way to separate from a minister.

Kayla, my ex, and I moved to Rochester 15 years ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long. Right before our lives completely changed, my dad was actively dying. We went to the Philippines together to see him one last time, but we had to return a week before he passed.

You don’t know how you’re going to feel about something until it happens. My parents were older, and I always knew they would pass away before I was truly ready. But you are never really ready.

A Prayer for Troubled Times

Before we left for the Philippines, before stepping into the unknown, we went to her church—Skyline Community Church in Oakland, CA—where she was a minister-in-training.

That Sunday, they had a Unison Prayer. At the time, the world was in the middle of a recession, and we were both facing uncertainty. Now, looking at the world today, the prayer still feels relevant.

It goes something like this:

“God is our refuge and strength, A loving presence in time of trouble.

Though waters roar and mountains tremble, We need not fear though the earth may change.

Who among you will respond? We are here — I am here — to embody God's love in this world.

O Blessed One, You know all hearts. You are ever with us; may love guide our lives.

In the name of all those who have come before us seeking truth and love, Let us add our names, Amen.”

We are the Light and the Blessing of the world. We are here to do good work—not from a place of fear, but from a place of love.

On Being Friends with an Ex

I think people would be surprised to know that I’m still friends with my minister ex. Classic lesbian cliché, sure—but the truth is, we didn’t speak for nearly 8 years before we reconnected.

Time changes things. And I had done a lot of growing, healing, and introspection. It felt like we could build a different kind of relationship—not the one we had, but a new one.

Not every ex should stay in your life. Some chapters need to close. But every once in a while, you meet someone whose presence feels important. Someone who shaped your journey in a way that shouldn’t be forgotten.

Some relationships are better in a new form. And sometimes, friendship is the greater love story.

Lenten Reflection: Choosing Love Over Fear

1 John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

Lent is a time of letting go of fear and leaning into love. It is easy to make choices based on anxiety, doubt, or self-protection. It is harder to trust in love, in connection, in grace.

🔹 Where am I still holding onto fear?

🔹 Who am I being called to reconnect with?

🔹 How can I embody love in my choices?

I hope you are surrounded by people who love, care, and support you. And if you cannot be with them physically, may you carry them in your heart.

Do not make life decisions from a place of fear. It never turns out well.

Take care of yourselves. And take care of each other.

📖 Read my Lenten Reflections: flanneldiaries.com (link in bio).

#Lent2025 #SpiritualWilderness #Love #Justice #Mercy #Godspeed