“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
I am a deeply spiritual person. Working in the community, I’ve often kept my religious beliefs to myself to remain unbiased and inclusive. But faith has always been part of me.
If you’re Filipino, being raised Catholic is pretty standard. Nearly 79% of the Philippines is Catholic, a legacy of 333 years of Spanish colonization. Growing up, I felt guilt for everything, which really messes with you as a child. I always wondered why we had to go to church every Sunday when my dad just fell asleep during Mass.
I did everything a “good Catholic” was supposed to do and appreciated the values I was taught. But I also saw the hypocrisy. Catholic hypocrisy is no bueno. So when I hit puberty and came to terms with my queerness, I started questioning my Catholic-ness.
Still, I was curious enough to explore other religions and spiritualities. Believing in an omniscient, omnipotent being was ingrained in me—it wasn’t something I could easily abandon. And even now, I still find meaning in the practices I grew up with, especially Lent.
Fish Fridays? Yeah, I still do that too. One year, I even did a tour of the best fish fries in town. No regrets.
Interconnection: From Easter to Passover to Politics
Easter is the Super Bowl for many Christians—the moment when Zombie Jesus rises, and Christianity is born. But Easter is also about spring, renewal, and the harvest.
Pagans celebrated the equinox, a time when light and dark were equal before the days grew longer. Jesus was Jewish, so the Last Supper was actually a Passover meal.
Everything is interconnected. Yet, we often act as if we have no impact on each other. We can’t pretend we’re separate when our state and local governments are already warning us about the trickle-down effects of federal policies.
I still pray. I pray a lot.
I pray for the safety and well-being of my friends and family. I pray for the earth to heal. I pray that we all will be okay during this hostile government takeover. I pray that God gives me strength and clarity to be my best self every day. I pray for justice and peace for those who have been lied to and betrayed. I pray for my ancestors.
A Prayer for Today
Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Prayer: Lord, when I open my eyes each day, help me to feel Your presence. Help me to keep in step with Your Spirit and be counseled by Your word. My heart aches, and I am worn out from crying. Please help me rise out of my hurt and sorrow. Amen.
Faith in Action: A Call to Justice
My faith is not separate from my work—it fuels it.
I believe if Jesus were alive today, he’d be a social justice warrior. When the work gets hard and exhausting, I return to Micah 6:8: “And what does the Lord require of you? To do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”
When life feels heavy, I remind myself to trust the process.
🔹 We cannot control everything.
🔹 We cannot control other people.
🔹 We can only control ourselves and our actions.
And sometimes, the best thing we can do is let go and trust.
Take care of yourselves. And take care of each other.
📖 Read my Lenten Reflections: flanneldiaries.com (link in bio).
I used to be engaged to a minister. We were together for seven years before we Consciously Uncoupled. The words we chose were, “We were no longer called to be together.” In some strange way, it felt like the most fitting way to separate from a minister.
Kayla, my ex, and I moved to Rochester 15 years ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long. Right before our lives completely changed, my dad was actively dying. We went to the Philippines together to see him one last time, but we had to return a week before he passed.
You don’t know how you’re going to feel about something until it happens. My parents were older, and I always knew they would pass away before I was truly ready. But you are never really ready.
A Prayer for Troubled Times
Before we left for the Philippines, before stepping into the unknown, we went to her church—Skyline Community Church in Oakland, CA—where she was a minister-in-training.
That Sunday, they had a Unison Prayer. At the time, the world was in the middle of a recession, and we were both facing uncertainty. Now, looking at the world today, the prayer still feels relevant.
It goes something like this:
“God is our refuge and strength, A loving presence in time of trouble.
Though waters roar and mountains tremble, We need not fear though the earth may change.
Who among you will respond? We are here — I am here — to embody God's love in this world.
O Blessed One, You know all hearts. You are ever with us; may love guide our lives.
In the name of all those who have come before us seeking truth and love, Let us add our names, Amen.”
We are the Light and the Blessing of the world. We are here to do good work—not from a place of fear, but from a place of love.
On Being Friends with an Ex
I think people would be surprised to know that I’m still friends with my minister ex. Classic lesbian cliché, sure—but the truth is, we didn’t speak for nearly 8 years before we reconnected.
Time changes things. And I had done a lot of growing, healing, and introspection. It felt like we could build a different kind of relationship—not the one we had, but a new one.
Not every ex should stay in your life. Some chapters need to close. But every once in a while, you meet someone whose presence feels important. Someone who shaped your journey in a way that shouldn’t be forgotten.
Some relationships are better in a new form. And sometimes, friendship is the greater love story.
Lenten Reflection: Choosing Love Over Fear
1 John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
Lent is a time of letting go of fear and leaning into love. It is easy to make choices based on anxiety, doubt, or self-protection. It is harder to trust in love, in connection, in grace.
🔹 Where am I still holding onto fear?
🔹 Who am I being called to reconnect with?
🔹 How can I embody love in my choices?
I hope you are surrounded by people who love, care, and support you. And if you cannot be with them physically, may you carry them in your heart.
Do not make life decisions from a place of fear. It never turns out well.
Take care of yourselves. And take care of each other.
📖 Read my Lenten Reflections: flanneldiaries.com (link in bio).
“Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” – Isaiah 1:17
I've been missing my friend Kimi in California. We usually talk on the phone—she’s one of the few people who refuses to go back and forth on text. We’ve known each other for 25 years. That means she’s seen every version of me, from my mid-20s to now. She knows my flaws, my strengths, my stubbornness, and my growth. And she’s still here. That means something.
We’ve had adventures, laughs, and probably a few moments where we drove each other nuts. She could tell you all the ways I’ve changed since I was 25. But the truth is, having someone in your life for that long is a rare and beautiful thing.
We Can’t Go Back to “Normal”
Yes, we are underreacting to what’s happening politically and socially. Mass layoffs of federal workers. Funding slashed from essential government agencies. Court orders dismissed. Rights dismantled. The very foundation of democracy shaking. We are not going back to “normal.” And we shouldn’t. Because normal is what led us here. Normal was broken. History has taught us that destruction happens in moments, while justice takes generations to build. The only way forward is through. We have to learn. We have to be better. We have to refuse to look away.
There’s a quote often attributed to Martin Niemöller, a Lutheran pastor who once sympathized with Nazi ideology but later became one of its fiercest critics. He spent eight years imprisoned in Nazi concentration camps for speaking out. His most famous words:
“First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist...Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
The lesson is clear. Why do we wait until they come for us before we care? Why do we stand by while the most marginalized are under attack, comfortably relieved that it isn’t us—yet? That’s what haunts me the most. When I joke, "They’re coming for me," will my friends only start caring then? Will they only realize it was never a joke when it’s too late?
I mask my fear with humor. But the fear is real.
Still, I can’t stop living my life because of fear. I never have, and I never will.
I don’t stand up for marginalized people because I think it will protect me. I do it because it’s the right thing to do. And I won’t wait until they come for me. Because I already know they will.
Winning on Different Terms
For some reason, this made me think about an old Tom Hanks movie, "The Man with One Red Shoe." It’s an 80s comedy built on mistaken identities, deception, and absurdity. A practical joke, a misunderstanding, and suddenly, chaos unfolds. It reminds me of another film I love—Knives Out. In both, those who play by the rules of deception always lose. The only ones who win are the ones who weren’t even playing the game. It makes me wonder: Why are we still playing by the rules of people who keep changing them to maintain their power?
Maybe the only way to win is to stop playing their game altogether. Maybe we don’t win by being better players—we win by being better people.
Because in the end, the only thing that truly matters is how we treat each other.
Lenten Reflection: Choosing Courage Over Comfort
Isaiah 1:17 – “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”
Lent is a time of reflection and reckoning. It asks us not just to look inward, but to look around.
Who is suffering? Who is being ignored? Who is being silenced?
We are called not to comfort, but to courage.
Faith is not passive. Justice is not optional. Love is not silent.
We cannot look away. We cannot wait until it’s our turn to care. We have to care now.
Lent is about preparing our hearts for transformation. What if part of that transformation is a refusal to be silent?
🔹 Where have I been too comfortable in injustice?
🔹 Who am I afraid to stand up for?
🔹 What am I willing to risk to do what is right?
Take care of yourselves. And take care of each other.
Read my Lenten Reflections at: https://www.flanneldiaries.com (link in bio).